New Reality Show

We have had Big Brother, the Jungle thing, Dating in the Dark, X-factor, Dancing on Ice and got knows what other Fly on the wall shows – but this one has it all and more – tender moments, violence, fast chases, personal grooming, live births, deaths, performance evaluations and sex, including the first time for two strapping young rams.

What, you wonder is this show that will draw hundreds of people to turn their tellys on at 8pm? Well the new daily aired ‘Lambing Live’ on BBC2.
Yes, we can all tune in to wait and see what sheep farming and especially in the lambing season is all about – from what I saw it was watching ewes eat and sleep, waiting for something to happen – see just like Big Brother, Kate Humble is shearing sheep and Adam Henson is chasing sheep rounding them up for selection for slaughter – challenges, just like jungle and eliminations just like X-factor.

The show is a mixture of clips from the last 6 months and actual live broadcast directly from the lambing sheds in Wales.

I mentioned sex, well, we see how 6 months ago the rams Hercules and Shankly are chosen for tupping and introduced to their harem of 82 ewes.
It was hilarious, when the lads were walked into the field and the first ewe approached them – they both turned tail and ran for it – hehe – even the sheepdog could not stop them. We then observed them lose their virginity and like typical randy males went on to happily servicing everything with four legs and in wooly coat.

Will I be tuning into the next scintillating episode tomorrow night? … hmm… I might have to wash my hair.

 

Time for another sexy quote

dirty sex

Don't think he meant this?


The psychiatrist asked me
if I thought sex was dirty
and I said,
‘It is
if you’re doing it right.’”

Woody Allen

 

Not the full tilt any more?

Scientists at NASA have calculated that the earthquake in Chile has moved the earth’s axis by about 3 inches therefore shortening our days by 1.26 millionths of a second.

Apparently globally speaking it will only have a small contributing factor in all the changes our planet is going through and to a certain extent the earthquake is a result of the global changes.

Sleeping Beauty

Zzzzzz - I am beautiful - Zzzzzzz

As with the recession, this is something that has happened before and will happen again and as callous as I may sound and as tragic the loss of all those lives is, we humans are (globally speaking) not as important as we like to think, though we have significantly contributed to what is happening with our world and not in a good way.

On a personal level I would like NASA to tell me if we are losing night time microseconds or day time microseconds? After all as enterprising escort I need to know if I am losing out on earnings or beauty-sleep.

I may have to plan in a power nap of about half a millisecond a year to ensure I don’t lose my allure!

 

 

 

Thanking two lovely regulars!

girl blowing kisses

Mwwwah!

A belated thanks to the fabulous R. For the hot and steamy time, I was well and truly knackered, hehe, don’t leave it so long until the next time babe! I love the beautiful bird photos and once I have a frame I will find a perfect space on my wall.

I also have to mention my sensitive and sensual regular A. Thank you for not holding it against me yesterday, correction you did more that hold ‘IT’ against me and very nice it was too – but seriously, thanks for your understanding and patience with the problems regarding two girl experience and my frustration in not being able to provide it.

 

 

 

Pet Hates

Beware angry tart!

Beware angry tart!


One of my pet hates are inconsiderate, self centred people!

A week ago on Saturday I had an invitation to a girl’s night out on the town to celebrate a friend’s 40th birthday. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go, but when I found out that out of all the women she had invited all but one had cried off, I couldn’t let her down now – could I?

So I bought a gift voucher from a lingerie shop and a nice card and got myself a new dress (half price in a sale, woohoo!) and steeled myself for the night out.

Saturday early evening another friend’s daughters descended upon me, asking to use my flat to get ready with their friends for their night out (not a completely unusual occurrence) and I agreed as long as they helped me get ready too. Hearing that the birthday girl had planned drinks in a favourite bar, moving on to a favourite club the girls decided to tag along – all I needed, chaperoning a gaggle of 20 somethings!

Amidst the chaos of make-up, bling and clothes a favourite client called and left a message to book me for the evening, oh boy was I tempted to cancel my friend, but I am a loyal sort of person and if I make an arrangement I keep it, so I told him I couldn’t make it.

We are supposed to meet at 8:30pm, but at 8pm my friend tells me they are running late and it will be 9ish, so the girls decide to go off on their own after all (small blessings, lol).

Then I get a message at 8:15 saying I’m welcome to join the birthday girl and her friend for dinner and they’d let me know where once they got to Chester.

Now it was meant to be meet for drinks, so I had not long ago eaten, so I declined and commented that they would not make the bar for 9pm, if they were going to a restaurant first. She apologised and said she would let me know when they went to the bar and I could meet them then.

So birthday girl expected me to either sit around dressed to the nines at home or sit in the bar drinking on my own like ‘Billy no mates’ for a couple of hours, while her and her friend have their meal!

I was furious, told her to forget it and I’m afraid I didn’t even have the grace to wish her a happy birthday or a nice evening.

I know it was her birthday and her choice, but one should consider one’s guest a little, right?

This Saturday she sent me a text asking if I wanted to come out – I think not! Oh, And I bought myself some sexy knickers with the voucher.

 

Dyson Convert

Oh hell, my vacuum cleaner broke, I’ve only had it for about 18 months.

It has a sleeve on the handle to operate a joint that allows to hoover under furniture, the sleeve is the only thing that keeps this joint straight when putting pressure on it, so being made out of fairly flimsy plastic is a definite design flaw.

Or is it?
This model of cleaner also has all the control switches in the handle, so replacing it cost about £20 less than the cleaner cost in the first place and with it breaking after the warranty has expired…

Well, I decided I would not pay this much for something that would probably only last another year.

After a lot of research, I bought a Dyson DC22, the 5 year guarantee seduced me and the professional and buyer reviews swayed me and the 15% discount at Argos convinced me.

Now, I had always vowed that no appliance can be worth spending that much extra on it, cyclone technology or not a vacuum cleaner is a vacuum cleaner is a vacuum cleaner – right?

Oh boy, am I eating my words, I love my little cyclone: compact, incredible suction, light, easy to empty and as far as I can tell a strong, sturdy design.

Hehe, some of that could be said about my favourite men!

 

Sexy Quote

Come into my parlourBut seduction isn’t making someone do

 

what they don’t want to do.

Seduction is enticing someone into doing

what they secretly want to do already.

Waiter Rant

So come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly… ;o)

 

Round and round it goes

I love Cheese, hard cheese, soft cheese, cream cheese, blue cheese – the stinkier the better.

So I jumped at the chance to go into town today to watch the annual Chester Cheese Rolling Championships, this is one of the pre-events that start up the Chester Food and Drink Festival, with the main event happening on April 3rd–5th at the Racecourse.

Teams of local retailers and restaurants enter into the competition pitting themselves against each other and teams from Lancashire and Stilton. The teams start in relays rolling a block of cheese by hand around an obstacle course and after a number of heats the competition culminates in a breath taking finale of the two best teams.

On the one hand side it is funny to watch as the cheeses have a mind of their own and try their best to escape, but it also has me wondering how many contestants are booked in with a masseur for after the event, running around bent double like that must play havoc on your back and I am sure that those guys would far rather be sitting down to a slab of that cheese with a hunk of bread and a mug of ale. I know I would!

I’m finding writing about the event doesn’t seem to be as amusing as it was and I guess you had to be there.

Anyway, The Chester Cheese Shop won. Congrats and I’ll have some Goats cheese and some Gorgonzola.

 

McCoy’s Guide

 

Today I had a lovely visitor in the form of George McCoy of McCoy’s Guide (to Adult Services) and author of 6 guide books covering parlours, agencies and independent service providers.

George contacted me the other day to arrange a meeting to include me in his guide and to discuss including me in one of his articles in the Daily Sport.

At first I was disappointed that the deep, manly voice did not belong to a prospective client, but I was obviously delighted to become a part of George’s site, why wouldn’t I be? After all everyone in the adult industry has at least heard of McCoy’s Guide.

George is a perfect gent, a consummate professional and absolutely adorable. We had a very interesting, if way to short chat, but he did have other people to see and already had the pleasure of another lady’s service.

I look forward to entertaining him again, when he is back in the area and maybe I get to find out what is hiding underneath that flat-cap and snappy outfit. ;oP

 

Sexy Quote

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.

But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue:

‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’

Eleanor Roosevelt

I don’t think being a wallflower is so bad,
as long as a sexy gardener tends to my blossoms.